How often do we sing along to lyrics we would never imagine saying out loud? Blasting at full volume in the car, pulsing through speakers at a concert, or even just playing out loud from TikTok, words that stereotype and diminish women begin to seem harmless when there’s a catchy beat behind them.
Music is probably the most consistent form of media in all of our lives. It’s around us constantly. Because of this constant exposure, the messages depicted are absorbed almost subconsciously. When songs contain lyrics that repeatedly portray women as disposable, worthless, objects of desire, those ideas begin to feel familiar. Repetition breeds familiarity, and in turn, familiarity reduces discomfort. What once might have sounded extreme can start to sound ordinary and socially acceptable.
Many of the phrases that appear in songs are things most people would never feel comfortable saying out loud—let alone directing at someone else. If spoken in conversation, these words would be considered unacceptable and disrespectful. Yet music creates a buffer zone between the listener and the message, allowing us to stop caring about or questioning anything sung or rapped.
Many popular artists have built careers around making music with themes of emotional detachment, overt dominance, and casual disrespect toward women. For example, songs by 21 Savage, Drake, NLE Choppa, and Travis Scott frequently portray women as interchangeable or emphasize detachment as a sign of power. Whether these lyrics are exaggerated stories or not, their choice of words still contributes to the behaviors and patterns of listeners. When belittling women and treating them as if they’re disposable is portrayed as “cool” or “tough”, admiration of these negative actions can form. And over time, with constant exposure, these attitudes may stop appearing as red flags and instead begin to seem desirable.
Some argue that songs containing messages about toxic love don’t negatively affect behaviors, instead teach us that people are simply imperfect. Mistakes can happen and relationships can be messy, yet people are still able to be loved and love others, so hearing about them in music may feel relatable rather than harmful.
However, specifically with teenagers, there’s a particular influence that music has on people’s lives. Young listeners often use music to define their personalities. It shapes their moods and even models their views on relationships. Thus, if lyrics repeatedly suggest negative things about women, those messages can subtly create expectations about dating and societal roles.
Music in itself can’t create misogyny. However, constant exposure to these narratives can make them feel less shocking and more natural, desensitizing us to toxic relationships; when certain ideas dominate charts, they start to define what feels acceptable. And when disrespect becomes something we sing without thinking, that’s when it becomes the most powerful.
