In modern times, the idea of “love” is constantly changing. Depending on new trends, fads, or opinions, societal norms constantly push us to adopt a new “kind” of love. Love used to be thought of as a choice, of a constant decision and feeling to love the other person. It was sincere and selfless, encased in full devotion. However, modern love is transactional, focused on what the other person can give you, not the mutual love and commitment you give to each other.

Today, jumping around with love interests is accepted and sometimes even encouraged. Cheating on one’s partner is easier than ever because of easy internet connections. Dating apps promote fast, quick gratification in the fact that there are so many “options,” like looking at a fast-food menu. Young people long for a relationship to gain “experience,” not to pledge oneself to the other person. 

Romance novels and movies create the “ideal” dating partner, often setting unrealistic expectations on watchers and readers leaving people disappointed with relationships in real life.

“I think a lot of people think love is going to be as easy and cute as in movies or books, but they set an unrealistic expectation for readers and watchers,” said freshman Natalie Ngo. 

For people looking for relationships and love based on this modern version of “love,” they jump in the relationship with excitement and butterflies, but leave when it gets hard or the “butterflies” and initial physical attraction fades.

“Love isn’t a performance but it is an action that comes with complicated feelings and consequences,” said freshman Baria Chowdhury.

Love is intended to be a commitment. It’s supposed to be embodied in a life-long relationship that, despite obstacles, still prevails. 

However, the exception to a life long commitment and relationship does exist where two people mutually agree or foresee a short relationship, often labelled a “situationship” instead of dating to marry. 

The problem is when one partner believes the situation is an “endgame” while the other intends for the relationship to not last. This type of relationship, with unequal commitment, unclear boundaries, and communication issues can be quite common and leaves both parties feeling hurt even if it wasn’t their intention.

People who get into relationships fast, based only on their partner’s looks, or assets, such as money or connections, or a created version of them in their minds may later find that it was never actual love. We are taught as a society that a young, innocent, new kind of love is what everyone needs all of the time, but in reality, love is in the words, the actions, the thoughts, and the commitment between the two partners. Love, at its core, should not just be a feeling, but a choice and a constant decision one makes. Love is an unique emotion that embodies so many other emotions and is the only one that requires two input the same feelings.

Instead of treating love as a commodity to be exchanged like money in a marketplace, we should revere and respect it and the person we feel it towards. And instead of being afraid to trust in the love that we feel, we should fully commit ourselves to that love we feel. Many are afraid of getting hurt and that causes them to pull back, not “over commit”. However, even with the pain, and fear, and anger that can come with love, it’s the emotion and the feeling that makes it unique and makes us human.