[TRANSCRIPT]
Jayeesha Deb: Hello, everybody, and welcome back for another episode of the Arcadia Quill Podcast. Love is in the air, isn’t it? With prom coming up and spring rolling in, people are bound to fall hard. Some of us have no moves, however, and need a little extra inspiration, especially when asking out their prom date. Hi, I’m Jayeesha.
Sarah Veeraraj: I’m Sarah.
Kayla Kim: I’m Kayla.
Jayeesha Deb: And today we have a set of interesting pickup lines sent in by our fans from which we’ll determine the best.
Sarah Veeraraj: I wish I had a prom date.
Jayeesha Deb: Don’t we all?
Kayla Kim: Hey, you’re a sophomore. It’s okay. You still have time.
Jayeesha Deb: Aren’t you a sophomore too, Kayla?
Kayla Kim: Oh, yeah.
Sarah Veeraraj: So where’s your prom date?
Kayla Kim: It’s okay. We have some nice pickup lines you can use now.
Jayeesha Deb: Okay, perfect. I’m so excited.
Sarah Veeraraj: I’m feeling real hungry right now, Kayla.
Kayla Kim: Wait, that’s perfect. I have the best pickup line. You’re like noodle soup. I could never pho-get you.
Kayla Kim: Get it? Pho.
Jayeesha Deb: Yeah.
Sarah Veeraraj: You’re always hungry, Kayla.
Jayeesha Deb: Hey, I’m catching some casual shade in there. What do you guys think?
Kayla Kim: Very casual.
Jayeesha Deb: Some subtle shade. Friendly fire, if you will.
Sarah Veeraraj: Enough with the food. Let’s hear some pickup lines that you guys sent in.
Jayeesha Deb: One user said, “I was reading the book of numbers and realized I don’t have yours.”
Sarah Veeraraj: Ooh.
Kayla Kim: Ooh. Wait, that would low-key work on me.
Sarah Veeraraj: I’d fall head over heels.
Jayeesha Deb: Book of numbers? Have you guys ever seen that movie, Book of Life?
Kayla Kim: Oh, I love Book of Life, like actually.
Sarah Veeraraj: I’ve never seen that movie, guys.
Jayeesha Deb: It’s so good. You should definitely watch it next time.
Kayla Kim: Mm-hmm.
Jayeesha Deb: Maybe with your prom date.
Kayla Kim: clears throat One user said, “R sick? Because I’m trying to stay at least six feet away from you.”
Sarah Veeraraj: Ooh.
Jayeesha Deb: There might be some grammatical errors in that statement.
Kayla Kim: No, but that would also work on me, too.
Sarah Veeraraj: The boyfriend-hater vibe.
Jayeesha Deb: That’s giving what you wouldn’t say to your prom date.
Sarah Veeraraj: We have a little chemistry pickup line. Do you have 11 protons? ‘Cause you’re looking sodium fine.
Jayeesha Deb: Wow. As somebody who took AP Chem, I think this is pretty on brand.
Kayla Kim: I have not taken Chem, but this seems funny.
Sarah Veeraraj: As someone who’s taking AP Chem, I fear this would give me trauma.
Jayeesha Deb: I agree, especially with all those midterms coming up and the AP testing season. That might be a little bit stressful. But if you did have 11 protons, do you think you’d look sodium fine?
Sarah Veeraraj: I think you’d look sodium fine.
Jayeesha Deb: Guys, it’s working on me. Get it here straight from Sarah, guys. Check your rizz. Moving on to the next pickup line. Are you the sun? Because I am blinded by your beauty.
Sarah Veeraraj: Ooh.
Jayeesha Deb: That’s a little cliche.
Sarah Veeraraj: That’s a cute one, though.
Jayeesha Deb: I think it is cute, but maybe it wouldn’t work on me. A little too cliche.
Sarah Veeraraj: Mm.
Jayeesha Deb: It’s giving coffee shop guy. Have you ever watched Happy Death Day?
Kayla Kim: No.
Sarah Veeraraj: No.
Jayeesha Deb: Okay. A little too niche for this topic.
Sarah Veeraraj: A bit.
Kayla Kim: No, but I know what you mean.
Sarah Veeraraj: Mm-hmm.
Kayla Kim: It’d be cute at a coffee shop.
Jayeesha Deb: For sure. But there are a couple other ones that we deemed especially special, so we have called these people in to be guests on our podcast. Shaurya79x said, “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re C-U-T-E.”
Kayla Kim: Ooh, another chemistry one. Oh, I think that line was pretty C-U-T-E.
Sarah Veeraraj: Well, you’re in luck because he’s on air right now. Let’s hear it straight from Shaurya. What is your pickup line?
Shaurya Sheth: So my pickup line was, “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re C-U-T-E.”
Sarah Veeraraj: Oh, that’s cute. So what do you think you would respond if somebody was to ask you that?
Shaurya Sheth: If someone told me that, I would just be like…I would first be kinda confused, because if I wasn’t in Chem, then I would be kinda confused. And then second of all, I’ll just be, “I guess?”
Sarah Veeraraj: Yeah.
Sarah Veeraraj: I guess? Okay.
Shaurya Sheth: Yeah.
Sarah Veeraraj: Okay. So here, I’m gonna give you three situations, and I want you to pick the one that you’d be most comfortable saying your pickup line in. So the first situation is if the bank teller was cute when you were depositing money. The second situation is you see your ex-girlfriend’s sister who was way cuter. And the third situation is you see the person you married on the playground in kindergarten after five years.
Shaurya Sheth: I think I would go with the bank one.
Sarah Veeraraj: The bank one, if the bank teller was cute?
Shaurya Sheth: Yeah.
Sarah Veeraraj: Why would you pick that?
Shaurya Sheth: I think I would pick that because if it’s like ex-girlfriend, I wouldn’t want to have any contact with her. And then for the other one, the playground, I feel like a bank is somewhere where I would see her more than a playground.
Sarah Veeraraj: Hey, thanks for joining us.
Shaurya Sheth: Thank you.
Kayla Kim: That was pretty great, but we have some more responses coming up. One user said, “You must be debt, because my interest is growing.”
Jayeesha Deb: Aren’t we all looking for a man in finance
Sarah Veeraraj: 6’5”?
Kayla Kim: I don’t know the rest of the song, but yeah.
Jayeesha Deb: Let’s hear it straight from the halls of Arcadia, where one of our reporters, Elaine, is getting interviews.
Elaine Sui: If you were waiting in line and someone came up to you and said, “Are you 11 protons? Because you’re sodium fine,” what would you say?
Cheyann Hwang: I would awkwardly laugh.
Elaine Sui: If someone came up to you and read you this pickup line, what would you say? I read the book of numbers, but I realize I don’t have yours.
Chase Hochfield: Okay.
Kayla Kim: Wait, wait, guys. Rate my pickup line. Are you Google? Because you have everything I’m looking for.
Jayeesha Deb: I rate that a one, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero out of 10. Get it? Because all the O’s in Google.
Sarah Veeraraj: Oh.
Kayla Kim: Oh, that actually makes sense. I thought you were gonna say zero for a second.
Sarah Veeraraj: I rate it a 10 out of 10. That would work on me.
Kayla Kim: So did it work?
Sarah Veeraraj: Yes.
Kayla Kim: Perfect.
Jayeesha Deb: Well, now you guys have prom dates. Well, now that you mentioned your pickup line, Kayla, I think I have one of my own. If you and I were socks, we’d make a great pair. For all of our listeners who can’t see right now, I have on black polka dot socks. How about you guys?
Kayla Kim: I have basic white socks.
Sarah Veeraraj: I have basic black socks.
Kayla Kim: It’s okay.
Jayeesha Deb: Well, that means we all come together, because mine are black and white. So rate my pickup line, guys.
Sarah Veeraraj: I rate it 100 out of 10.
Kayla Kim: I rate it 1,000 out of 10.
Jayeesha Deb: You’re too kind. They’re not this nice in real life, guys.
Sarah Veeraraj: Now, enough from us. Let’s hear some more pickup lines from our viewers.
Jayeesha Deb: Here I am, reporting live from a classroom with…
Veda Baliga: Veda.
Jayeesha Deb: So what’s your pickup line, Veda?
Veda Baliga: My pickup line is, “Do you have a pencil? Because I wanna erase your past and write our future.”
Jayeesha Deb: Ooh, ominous.
Veda Baliga: Thank you.
Jayeesha Deb: How would you respond if somebody came up to you and told you this?
Veda Baliga: I would first take a second, and then look them up and down and smile.
Jayeesha Deb: What is the context of this? If a complete stranger came up to you, you would do that?
Veda Baliga: Depends on the stranger. If they’re my age, then I’d still do what I’d do. But otherwise, I just run away.
Jayeesha Deb: Right, okay.
Jayeesha Deb: So just to expand on that…
Veda Baliga: I would pick the bank teller.
Jayeesha Deb: Really?
Veda Baliga: Because he has an established job and I know where he is.
Jayeesha Deb: So are any of these unappealing to you?
Veda Baliga: The cheating.
Jayeesha Deb: Mm.
Veda Baliga: Because he’d probably cheat on me, too.
Jayeesha Deb: That’s so true.
Jayeesha Deb: See? She’s standing on business, guys. Be like Veda. While we’re on the topic, have you ever used a pickup line in person?
Veda Baliga: Oh, yes.
Jayeesha Deb: Wanna share more about that?
Veda Baliga: It was on one of my friends, and I was trying to ask her to one of the formals in middle school.
Jayeesha Deb: So never a dude?
Veda Baliga: Not yet.
Jayeesha Deb: We’ll see about that bank teller in the future.
Veda Baliga: Perhaps.
Jayeesha Deb: So what are your prospects for prom?
Veda Baliga: Depends on the person, but it might work if I try.
Jayeesha Deb: I want you to rate two lines. First: If you and I were socks, we’d make a great pair. Second: Are you Google? Because you have everything I’m looking for.
Veda Baliga: I love the first one, it’s really cute. And the second one makes me blush, so I love it.
Jayeesha Deb: That’s awesome.
Veda Baliga: I love both of them.
Jayeesha Deb: Seems you are easily swayed.
Veda Baliga: That’s not a good thing.
Jayeesha Deb: Well, thank you so much for joining us today.
Veda Baliga: Thank you.
Sarah Veeraraj: Okay, I got a line for you. Are you a charger? Because I’m dying without you.
Kayla Kim: Don’t you need your charger, Sarah?
Sarah Veeraraj: My phone is at 10%. It’s okay, though.
Jayeesha Deb: Well, when you find your true love, your battery will go from 10 to 100.
Kayla Kim: Hopefully they have a charger with them.
Sarah Veeraraj: Hopefully he’ll have a portable.
Jayeesha Deb: Wow, I think these people really unleashed their inner rizzler with these. No matter what, remember your true love is out there, and with game, you could score a partner, too.
Kayla Kim: Thanks for listening, everyone. We hope these lines help you find your soulmate.
Sarah Veeraraj: And remember, if you don’t shoot, you can’t score. Until next time.
Kayla Kim: Bye.
Photo courtesy of FREEPIK.COM
