What does the word “pick me” mean? What is a true “pick me”? The word “pick me,” according to the Dictionary means, “a girl who purposely puts other girls down for validation.” The term was originally used to call out girls whose behavior was misogynistic towards other girls. In fact, most of these “pick me’s” would purposely go out of their way to make another girl feel bad about themselves. But nowadays, this word has just been thrown around to hate on women as a whole.
A true “pick me” is not a girl’s girl; they find pleasure in making others feel bad. Whether it be a close friend, classmate, acquaintance, or anyone else, they’ll find a way to make you feel bad. A perfect example of this is someone complimenting you, and your “friend” trying to degrade your compliment. This compliment can be as simple as someone saying your lips look more full with lipgloss. This “friend” of yours will make sure this compliment soon turns into hate. Mentioning something like, “Yeah her lips do look good; I wonder how much lip filler you had to get in order to look like that?” Though it might not seem to be an awful thing to say, what this person essentially did was demean this compliment and turn it into an insincere comment filled with hate.
Another example of a “pick me” is a girl who attacks another girl’s look for no reason. It’s one thing to judge others in your mind, it’s another to post about your judgment and essentially make fun of another. It’s now become a trend to post random recorded videos of girls—without their consent–just to make fun of them. Pointing out things about them, whether it be their body or how their makeup looks. Not only is it vile, it just goes against everything about standing up for other girls.
A true “pick me” will always find a way to make themselves look better while putting you down. They don’t care if their actions affect someone negatively; they only care about how others perceive them.
Now with the rise of social media, the word “pick me” has been lurking in every comment section and like any other “trending” word it’s starting to be used way too often. With the spread of the phrase, its actual meaning has become distorted and harmful, especially for girls.
With Instagram or TikTok videos of these so-called “pick me girls” becoming more popular, many people are starting to forget what this phrase actually means. A most common trait of a “pick me,” according to social media, is being self-aware that you’re petite. Now, mentioning your height if someone comments about it can lead to you being accused of being a “pick me” or an attention seeker. It’s also now become quite common for people online to be labeled as a “pick me” just because of their personality, it doesn’t even matter of their character or how they act. Sometimes people with a personality that is too friendly to others—especially guys—being too independent and even being adventurous can cause accusations of being a “pick me” for being different or not fitting a “typical girl’s personality.” Many videos online have even started to bash women who genuinely like sports because it’s a thing that “guys like.” Girls who do makeup can be called a “pick me” because it’s too feminine with people online claiming “you’re just trying to get attention from others” or “how can you spend so much time doing makeup.” Ironically, girls who don’t like doing makeup are being called “pick me” because they’re not acting like the stereotypical girl and are trying to not fit in, which is super hypocritical because girls now get labeled as “pick me” regardless if they do makeup or not. Even having guy friendships can cause others to assume you’re only friends with guys because you’re trying to get validation from them, not because you genuinely want to be friends. Not only is this a really toxic mindset, but it can really damage a growing girl’s mentality on what she can like or do, leading young girls to question their identity. Any woman or girl is labeled as a “pick me” even though they aren’t doing anything to make fun of another girl.
Social media has made this phrase essentially give teen girls and even grown women an excuse to tear each other apart for being “too annoying,” “too attention seeking,” “too emotional,” “too friendly,” “too tomboyish,” and even “too cool.” This word’s initial meaning was to bash women who aren’t being supportive of other girls, but it’s now just being used to hurt and make fun of any girl, completely changing the meaning of this word.
The word “pick me” has unfortunately become one of the many misogynistic phrases that are used against women. The word no longer fits its intended meaning, which was to call out girls who hate on others. It has ironically been perpetrating the same type of hate that it was trying to call out.
GRAPHIC COURTESY OF CAITLYN CHAU
