We’ve all been in that situation where an acquaintance, or stranger within our vicinity, suddenly lets out a trumpet of a sneeze. Sometimes scream-like, the blast startles the surrounding crowd. After all, any satisfactory sneeze can send heads swiveling towards the source of the sound. For the sneezer, the hurried grab for tissues may ensue and from the witnesses comes delayed “bleshoo’s”. 

For decades, this was the common procedure in the aftermath of a sneeze. But these days, sneezes are the thing of nightmares. The massive propulsion of spittle, even if one loudly declares “It’s just allergies!”, is practically a social death sentence amidst a respiratory-borne pandemic. Everyone’s heightened alertness has made the expressive “achooOO” a thing of the past. In order to comply with the times, there are certain things one must adhere to when sneezing. 

The first and hopefully most obvious is to cover your face, either with a mask or some sort of tissue or napkin. The main goal is to keep your spray to yourself! Sneezing into your hand is a huge no (you might as well uninvite yourself from all friendship circles). Why? It’s just…gross. It’s worth mentioning that elbows are not a great substitute for masks or tissues, but should be employed when no other method presents itself. Just as sneezing into a hand is unwarranted—imagine shaking a sneeze-dewed palm—sneezing into elbows is out. The tasks we do with our hands opening doors, fist-bumping, crosswalk buttons, have transferred over to our less touchy elbows. The area you just jammed into a public, crosswalk button is what you’re smashing your vulnerable nose and mouth into.

Another formality with sneezes is the practiced response that follows. In English, it is customary to “bless” the sneezer, which originated with the superstition that sneezing meant certain death by plague. Another common response would be the German equivalent, gesundheit, meaning “good health”. The phrase is often used by English speakers who prefer not to say “bless you”. In any case, sneeze scripts are common for many Western countries. Spanish speakers wish salud (health) after the first sneeze, dinero (money), and amor (love) after the second and third sneeze.

But, according to Babbel, the funniest dialogue goes to Turkey. “You sneeze, someone says ‘live long,’ and you reply ‘And I hope you will be there to see it.’ It’s not intended to be as snarky as it sounds.”

In any case, a soul-shaking sneeze doesn’t just shake up a conversation, it may literally shake up your snot. That’s right…boogers. They rain down from the depths of our nasal cavities, bringing germs and inconvenience our way. I mean, why run when your nose is running faster than you are? Funniness aside, having streams run down your face, while fully masked, is completely uncomfortable. Out of courtesy, refrain from taking off your mask until you are away from people. The best solution to your problems is to first step away before blowing and or wiping your nose. Again, because of the current world situation, use sanitizer before and after doing anything that includes wiping your nose. It can get seriously tedious sometimes–reaching for alcohol, then for a tissue, then for more disinfectant–but rest assured, whatever you touch in class, you do not want to bring it into your nose or vice versa! 

Lastly, it’s important to know that if you feel a sneeze coming, it’s best to just let it come. That old myth that sneezing can make your brains explode isn’t as far-fetched as it seems. Periodically holding in a sneeze or stopping it once it starts can lead to ruptured ear drums or, rarely, brain aneurysms. Of course, it is highly unlikely that this might happen, but just in case, don’t be afraid to let that sneeze loose.

Photo courtesy of UNSPLASH.COM