The Women Hating Women Agenda is Pulling us Back


Aahana Dutta, Staff Writer

Women have been seen as the inferior sex for centuries now. Gender inequality in China can be traced back to the Bronze Age, according to a study from the Queens College in New York. Even in other parts of the world like ancient Greece and Rome, women barely had any rights. For example, women couldn’t vote or hold political office in ancient Rome, even though they were considered citizens. In ancient Greece, women weren’t even considered citizens. They could not vote and had the same status as slaves.  

While women have come a long way in the past few decades in the U.S. (being able to serve in the military, get divorced, etc.) and many countries around the world allow women to have the same equal rights as men, women still have a long way to go. There are many people who still have opinions that would be more suitable if they were living in the 1800s. Unfortunately enough, not all of these people are men. Some of them are women. Yes, women who hate women.

The Women Hating Women Agenda is a blanket term. It includes women who insult choices made by other women, like women who choose to not get married, have kids, or dress “feminine”, with the intention of pleasing men (often referred to as “pick me girls”) as well as women who genuinely believe that the sole duty of a woman is to look after her family. “Pick me” girls may claim that they “are not like other girls” in order to gain male attention, and seek validation from men.

However, it is worth noting that recently, this trend has changed from a linear blame game to a cycle of blame game. That basically means, this term now gets used as an insult for girls who are not pick-me girls, by girls who are pick-me girls. An example of this would be a girl who does not wear makeup, being shamed by a girl who does wear makeup. The girl who wears makeup thinks that the reason the other girl is not wearing makeup is because “she is not like other girls.” Her assumption may be far from the truth, but by posing herself as the one who is calling out the pick-me behavior, she is trying to prove herself as the honest, or real girl. She is trying to look superior to the other girl, becoming the pick-me girl herself, in return. 

There’s a new trend on TikTok and YouTube, where women post videos of themselves making lunch for their husbands and kids. The comments sections are mostly people cheering the women and complimenting their cooking skills, but every once in a while, there are misogynistic comments from women and men alike, who judge other women. They don’t judge the person in the video, no, their hate is geared towards other female commenters who say that they wouldn’t do the things shown in the video. While there are comments from men, the most surprising ones are from women. Women who judge other women.  

In one such video, a user by the handle of Miyako1909 said, “I found women nowadays just have a lot of excuses. Women in the old days did a lot more and they didn’t complain. And in the past, they didn’t have modern technologies and machines to help them.”

It can be argued that women in the “old days” did more work, but that isn’t totally accurate because many women still take care of their houses and have careers on top of that. Generalizing that women do less work nowadays than they did before can not exactly be proved because of the varied gender progression towards equality throughout the globe. 

However, if women before the 1950s did do more household work, that’s because they were subjected to it due to sexism, and not necessarily because they wanted to. Their circumstances made them do it, even if they didn’t agree to it. Women nowadays don’t have to do that because as previously mentioned, we now have more choices, and more opportunities that allow us to use our free will and unlike in the old days, most people now opt to work in corporate jobs rather than doing manual labor.

Another reason women before the 1950s were more likely to primarily do household work is because they were more likely to have kids and taking care of them would require women to stay home, but today, women can choose to not have kids. That, however, doesn’t mean that every woman on this planet can practice her freedom. Many of them are still, unfortunately, being forced to follow the traditional gender norms. 

In regards to women saying that they wouldn’t cook for their husbands, “My mother worked all day then came home, took care of me, did housework, cooked for the family, and helped me with my homework. She even made all of my clothes. She is a great woman who was able to have a career and take care of her family at the same time. My aunt is also the same and was able to finish her grad school while juggling her three children. I admire and want to be like them when I get married someday. I am pretty sure I wouldn’t want my husband to go to work hungry or eating expensive unhealthy store-bought meals,” Miyako1909 said. 

There is so much wrong with this comment, here’s why. If a woman wants to look after her family and follow the traditional gender norms, then that is okay. If a woman wants to work and look after her family, even if it completely drains her out, then okay, it’s her choice (although I don’t know why she would want to do that). However, what is NOT okay to do is to bash a woman just because she doesn’t want to be “the traditional wife.”

Another viewer by the name of JessicaMaria said, “I’m glad my mother was an amazing Cuban cook and taught me my whole life. My boyfriend never wants to eat out anywhere anymore.” She also said, “Oh, and I work as well, so these excuses are hilarious,” in regards to some women saying that their working schedule doesn’t allow them to cook fancy meals for their husbands or boyfriends. 

These are not the only examples of women putting other women down. There are plenty more, in fact, too many to even list. 

One reason women have been struggling with equality for so long is because society conditioned them to think that they are less than men and cannot do “manly work.” Not only that, but not many opportunities were available to them either. Despite this, women throughout history have been proving that wrong. During World War II, women did all household chores, as well as outside chores in the absence of their husbands. About 350,000 women served in the armed forces during that time (Women’s Army Auxiliary Corps, Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service, Semper Paratus-Always Ready, and Women Airforce Service Pilots). Women during those times had multiple kids (although not all of them survived). Women throughout history have worked hard—just like men—if not, perhaps harder than men. 

I personally believe that all women should make their careers their first priority. If later on in life, they get married and want to become a stay-at-home mom, then that is their choice. Nonetheless, if a woman wants to work or not get married, that is her choice, and she doesn’t need anyone’s permission or opinion to do that. 

Many women still believe in traditional values because they grew up in a culture where these values were instilled in them. As a result, they made these values part of their belief system and figured that working in the kitchen is the best thing a woman can do. It’s not their fault that they think this way, they’re just strongly impacted by the people around them, and they are not always able to break free from the cycle because of their environment. 

There are still many males who try to pull females down. We don’t need women pulling women down too. After all, isn’t it so much better to let us make our own decisions, and treat us like independent individuals?


Photo Courtesy of UNSPLASH.COM