If I were to write a letter to my freshman year self, the advice would be endless. Don’t take AP classes you’re not interested in (especially because you didn’t end up using it), surround yourself only with people who make you happy, find your interests and focus on them early on, stop caring so much about what other people think; the list drones on and on. So many things, if only I had known them sooner, could’ve potentially altered everything.

But, do I want that?

If given the opportunity to, I don’t think I would write a letter to my freshman year self. The events that have occurred throughout my high school experience, both negative and positive, have led to the person I am today. If I never took those rigorous AP science courses, I would not have learned that I have no interest in going into science, nor would I have realized not to overload myself with difficult classes my junior year. Without undergoing the process of finding the ideal people to surround myself with, I wouldn’t have gained knowledge about what makes a quality friendship. If I spent too much time focusing on discovering a career path the second I stepped into high school, I would not have had time to explore different fields and discover my passions. My experience has taught me lessons that cannot simply be learned just by being told. While the outcome of my high school years is important to me, it is not something that can be achieved without cruising through some ups and downs.

As a senior counting down her last month of high school, there is a lot of change to look back on. The things my freshman year self cared so deeply about hardly matter anymore, and the things I care about now are extremely different than what freshman year me ever imagined. As I look back, it is easy to recognize each year as a year of growth, seeing how my values and interests and the people around me have shifted.

It is easy to look back on your high school career and feel regret, to see things you wish you could’ve done differently, things that might’ve changed where you are now. But it is these experiences, the ones that we wish we could change, that teach us the most about ourselves. Looking back, I do see problems and situations that definitely were not the best. But, looking at my life now, I don’t wish I had done anything differently.