“I can resist everything except temptation.” —Oscar Wilde

We’ve all had those times when it seemed like refraining from a bag of chips sitting on the table was the hardest thing in the word, or when the urge to just forget about work and take naps threatens to consume us. When it comes to our desires, resisting them can often seem like an impossible feat, and those who have managed do so deserve the utmost respect. We have had the last decade or so of our lives to practice resisting our temptations, but nevertheless, every time it strikes, it is just as hard to defeat as the time before. No matter how many breaks we take, the urge to take another is never far away. So why is temptation so hard to resist, and self-control so difficult to master?

As ridiculous as it sounds, our willpower is a finite resource. According to a study conducted by Shmueli and Prochaska at UC San Francisco, “exerting self-control at one time or over one set of behaviours may deplete the ability to exhibit subsequent self-control over another set of behaviours,” meaning that if you resist eating that bag of chips in the morning, then you will have a harder time resisting the urge to eat a few cookies during lunch that same day. Furthermore, as the day wears on, the shackles on our temptations grow weaker and weaker as our will powers deteriorate in a similar fashion. Most of the time, we work the hardest in the morning when our willpower is strong and well-rested, which is why throughout the day, we often find it progressively more difficult to retain that same motivation.

Luckily, for most people, self-control is just like any other skill and can be trained through practice. The energy that it takes us to control our temper, ignore distractions, and resist urges are all drawn from the same place, so the key is to increase the energy capacity of the pool that we draw from. The most effective way to train your self-control is to first learn how to manage stress. “Being under high levels of stress means that our body’s energy is used up in acting instinctively and making decisions based on short-term outcomes,” said Kelly McGonigal, author of The Willpower Instinct. Taking a few deep breaths when times are stressful can go a long way in conserving our brains’ energy and improving our willpower.

Unsurprisingly, people with levels of self-control have a penchant for success and self-control is a skill that will never lose its usefulness, now and far into the future. The next time that bag of chips on the table looks particularly appetizing, take a step back and ask yourself whether it’s worth it or not. Resisting even that one small bag of chips can go a long way in improving your self-control.