There are two types of people: the type that wants to be liked by everybody, and the one that doesn’t care. Now imagine the first type, then imagine it in the most amplified way possible.

Yup, that’s me. I’m the world’s biggest people-pleaser, somebody who will go out of their way to make sure they’re well-liked by everybody around them. I make sure to maintain my good image by spiking friendly conversations with acquaintances, fulfilling favors when asked, and never showing my bad side. And although it has worked out well for the most part as a lot of my peers are fond of me, the detrimental effects of being obsessed over others’ opinions are quite devastating.

About a month ago, I found out that some girl had been talking bad about me to her friends. The moment I found out, my stress levels skyrocketed, and I never felt so uncomfortable before. Just the thought of somebody disliking me made me so stressed out that my mood was ruined for the rest of the week. And it wasn’t really because I was stressed because she betrayed our friendship, but more of the fact that she regarded me so negatively.

After hours of talking about it with my friends and days of thinking about the situation, I came to the realization that this wasn’t going to be the last time somebody disliked me. The fact of the matter is that it’s impossible for everybody you encounter to like your personality, since we’re all very different people.

It would be a waste of time to make sure every single soul is fond of you. Sometimes people’s opinions aren’t worth changing, and most of them don’t even matter. It’s frustrating trying to stay nice all the time, when let’s be honest, we’re not born that way. So why force yourself to prevent the inevitable?

Now I’m not saying that you shouldn’t care at ALL about what anyone thinks. If that were true, then who knows what Logan Paul would be doing as we speak. That’s because criticism keeps us grounded, and there’s always room for improvement. Other people’s opinions also give you third party feedback, and they constantly give us reality checks.

So don’t be the first type of person, and don’t be the second type either. Find a happy medium between those two, where you accept the fact that not everybody will love you, and where others’ opinions still matter at times. Right now I’m still struggling to find that gray area, but with each step I take, I can get closer to it.