This holiday season, I took a small step outside of my comfort zone and put on a mini holiday show at Vista Cove Assisted Care, featuring Stella and Olivia, the two five-year-old girls I teach dance to. Because I figured they can’t retain that much choreography nor dance for too long, I partnered with Hope of Harmony, a local musical ensemble. Going into the show, I was nervous and did not anticipate success or accomplishment. Busy weeks and big exams left me scrambling to put together a small show just days before the weekend of the performance. Still, as the show came to a close, I was proud of myself and my girls for truly bringing Christmas joy to the elderly.

In the weeks leading up to the show, I was not putting very much effort into the class in general. Friday afternoons that were initially dedicated to productive work sessions quickly developed into impulsive, but apparently necessary, nap times. Then, I would promise myself to wake up an hour earlier on Saturday morning to prepare for a great class, but snoozing my alarm once quickly turned into four times until I was almost late to class. I went into almost every class half-asleep, utterly tired, and honestly pretty confused. It’s not surprising that the last week leading up to the show brought me crazy stress that could have been avoided if I had been more devoted before. I ended up cutting two dances out of the show and scrapping choreography many times between that. As much as I hated to admit it, my class was not going the way I had initially set it out to be. I was angry at myself for lacking such crucial leadership skills and for driving the whole thing away from success and growth. As Saturday, Dec. 15, approached, I felt like a disappointed dance teacher, anticipating failure on the day of the show and eager to get the whole thing over with.

On Saturday morning, I woke up annoyed and stressed. I was dreading show time, but as negative as I was, I still really wanted to be proud of my girls. They’re ready to have fun, trying to overcome their inevitable stage fright. I didn’t want to be the only person who didn’t believe in them. When we got to the venue, I was even more intimidated because I saw people from school playing in the musical ensemble. I knew that being scared and pessimistic wasn’t going to be beneficial for anyone, so I tried to stay positive and put on a big smile for the girls. We practiced some of the dances, and they told me about how they were anxious but excited. As much as their screaming and craziness frustrates me sometimes, Stella and Olivia really know how to make me smile.

Suddenly, it was our time to perform. I somewhat dragged Stella and Olivia on to the floor and nudged them to their positions, but I’m sure I felt even more nervous than they did. Too scared to look at the faces in the audience, I kept my focus on the girls and reminded them of the next moves with an encouraging smile and a gentle tone. On the rare occasions that I did muster enough courage to take my attention off the girls, I caught happy smiles from the parents and the elderly members of the audience. They bopped along to the music and adored the little girls. Two minutes into the dance, the whole thing started to feel a little awkward. I felt less and less optimistic, but a tiny part of me still anticipated at least a little success. When the dances ended, the audience clapped loudly and laughed at how cute Stella and Olivia were. Macy, the lady who leads the musical ensemble, introduced me, and I introduced Stella and Olivia. They said their names, and that really pushed the audience over the edge; they really were the cutest girls ever! While they introduced themselves, I suddenly felt a surge of pride for my girls. I was so proud of them for overcoming their stage fright, especially since I knew just how scared Olivia was. They really had made me a proud dance teacher, and I was so happy for them, regardless of how I was feeling towards myself.

As I sat in the audience watching the rest of the show, I initially felt a wave a shock. I was a little confused and overwhelmed, wondering how it went, thinking about what had just happened. After I took it all in, I felt proud of myself. It wasn’t necessarily a big achievement, but I had stepped out of my comfort zone and done something a little different. It wasn’t what I had expected at all from a few months ago to a few days ago, but I was content. Some of the elderly members of the audience came up to me and told me they loved the show, enjoyed it very much, and thought the girls and I were just too cute. Knowing that I had made them laugh and had brought them some joy during this holiday season really did make me happy, and I was glad I had put on this little show.

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