I remember my first day of ninth grade. I would say it felt like a jolt back to reality. Just months earlier, I was logging onto Zoom every morning, only to drift back to sleep before the teacher could even take attendance. With my entire eighth grade year spent at home during COVID-19, I came into Arcadia High School (AHS) with great expectations and a little hope that I could fabricate a new me.
Entering a school where my classmates seemed to be presidents of every academic team on campus and easily tackled AP Calculus BC as freshmen made me question everything. Maybe pursuing biology in college was a terrible decision. The disconnect hit hard, and despite my efforts to brush off the highly competitive academic environment, it loomed large.
But as I navigated the chaos of high school, I began to witness the twists and turns of my journey. I stopped convincing myself that pre-med was the destined path for me simply because it seemed that way for my peers. I learned to part ways with friendships I had been desperately clinging to. I realized my peers weren’t competitors, but students craving success just like me. Most importantly, I discovered that I’m never truly alone; among the 3,000 other teenagers on campus, there would always be someone who felt the same way I did.
Looking back as a senior, I wish I had rallied the courage to express the authenticity that my seventh grade self once displayed. I regret not reaching out to my classmates and forming deeper bonds. (I can certainly trace my struggles back to those Zoom breakout rooms during 8th grade science.) I was reluctant to form relationships, knowing our shared moments were impermanent. Now, it feels more real than ever. In holding back, I failed to take full advantage of the “high school experience” and all the possibilities it could bring.
Oddly enough, I never felt like I was missing out by staying home. I didn’t care much for bonding events, football games, or Homecoming. Yet, when I decided to go out with friends, I always had fun. I’ve seen students mastering the art of balancing a social life and academics. One thing I’ve learned is that we, as students, have the power to control our high school experience. If I were to experience high school again, I would encourage my freshman self to cherish opportunities for connection and not to allow fear to prevent you from building meaningful relationships.
Next is college, where I’ll be a freshman again—confused and without a clear path. Only this time, I won’t be walking onto campus with a mask hiding my face. Regardless, I’m looking forward to the next chapter of this journey, hoping to embrace the connections I once hesitated to create.