At the heart of humanity are the relationships and social connections that individuals build over time. Having transitioned into high school, an adolescent’s network of connections expands ten-fold, so it is no surprise that the potential for romance also increases in similar leaps and bounds. But sparks of chemistry can fuel toxicity when emotions run high. Teen dating violence continues to remain a pressing problem in today’s era; where does this issue stem from?

No one enters a romantic relationship with the intent of causing or being the victim of dating violence. It is a slow, creeping process that worsens over time if it isn’t addressed immediately. Adolescents are especially vulnerable to dating violence, and with the rise of technology, emotional and psychological violence has become even more prevalent in the forms of text messages, emails, calls, and even stalking. Often considered a safe and close-knit community, Arcadia High School (AHS) remains active in campaigning against dating violence, and there is still a need to promote awareness and compassion for the topic.

As an educator and counselor, Dr. Deja Anderson has both learned and taught the dangers of teen dating violence. Whether it is emotional, physical, or sexual violence, she informs AHS students of the warning signs and dangers of teen dating violence through a series of presentations. Although Dr. Anderson believes that the student body has made strides in understanding what teen dating violence could potentially entail, the most difficult aspect of accepting violence is coming forward.

From her experience, Dr. Anderson has witnessed how victims often suffer from feelings of guilt; because of such struggles, students often find it difficult to seek assistance and downplay abuse.

“We encourage folks who have experiences [with dating violence] to do therapy,” said Dr. Anderson. “If not, they may take [these behaviors] into their next relationship, or it may be really hard for them to date and open up again.”

Dating violence used to be limited to in-person abuse, but the rise of social media usage––particularly in adolescents––has allowed teen dating violence to propagate digitally. 

“I see so many posts where people joke about being ‘obsessive’ or ‘toxic’ in relationships,” said junior Howard Sih. “But when something is romanticized too much, people stop seeing it as a red flag.”

Oversharing on social media has inadvertently normalized toxicity within relationships; when instances suggesting teen dating violence are shared online, viewers are often hesitant to voice their concerns. This snowball effect normalizes unhealthy relationships online, blurring the line between a normal relationship and dating toxicity. 

“Oversharing is, I would say, the person looking for an outlet,” said Dr. Anderson. “And we’ve put technology in students’ hands, so how are you not to use it? But really making that emphasis that there’s certain things that should be a conversation in person…[it] shouldn’t be something online to share and really [letting other] people see.”

French teacher Ms. Christina Vaughan described from personal experience that while no student has told her about any abuse that they might have gone through in their relationships, she has said that she has seen abuse within relationships to be a lot more common in relationships in college. 

Additionally, while asking her about how adolescents should go about talking to their parents or a trusted adult about their abuse, she stated, “Students are only going to approach someone if they have 100% trust in that person. …the best way to open the door so a student can tell an adult is for that adult to be available. [And the best way] for that adult to become available is by not being judgemental and for that child to know that they are safe. That is the job of every parent and every adult in a role caring for children is for them to know that they are safe.”

When talking to students about teen dating violence, many emphasized how important it is to check in on one another and offer support. Several students shared that signs of emotional distress or toxic relationships aren’t always obvious, making it crucial to pay attention to changes in behavior. Some mentioned that friends who suddenly withdraw, seem anxious about their partner, or make excuses for unhealthy behavior might be struggling but don’t know how to ask for help.

Senior Tianyi Hao emphasized the importance of checking in on friends who might be struggling.

“If you notice your friend acting differently—like avoiding people, being overly anxious about their partner, or making excuses for toxic behavior—it’s important to talk to them,” he said. “Even if they don’t listen at first, just knowing that someone cares can make a huge difference.”

“Sometimes people don’t realize they’re in a bad situation until someone else points it out,” said sophomore Chloe Kai. “Having friends who check in and listen without judgment can make it easier to open up.” 

Others agreed that just asking a simple “Are you okay?” or letting someone know they have a safe space to talk can make a huge difference. Checking in, they said, isn’t about forcing someone to talk—it’s about showing them they’re not alone.

Teen dating violence is a serious issue that requires collective effort to address. Whether it’s teachers raising awareness, counselors providing resources, or students supporting each other, it is crucial to create an environment where victims feel safe speaking up and getting the help they need. Many students expressed that regularly checking in on friends is one of the most meaningful ways to support someone who may be experiencing dating violence. Several noted that victims often don’t realize they are in an unhealthy relationship until someone else raises concern or offers support. Others emphasized that support doesn’t always have to be a big gesture—sometimes, just spending time with a friend, listening without judgment, or reminding them that they have people who care can be enough to help them recognize red flags in their relationship and find the courage to seek help.

Addressing teen dating violence requires a community-wide effort—from educators and counselors providing resources to students supporting one another. While AHS has taken steps to raise awareness, it is up to individuals to create a culture where victims feel safe seeking help. Checking in on friends, being mindful of warning signs, and encouraging open conversations can make a real difference. As Dr. Anderson emphasized, seeking support is crucial in breaking the cycle of unhealthy relationships. No one should feel alone in their struggles, and by cultivating compassion and awareness, we can work toward a safer, more supportive school environment where no one suffers in silence.