As I sit down to write this senior column, I’m consumed with one main thought. I have nothing to say. If you’ve known me at all over the past four years I’ve spent at Arcadia High School (AHS), you would definitely find this sentiment shocking.
In truth, I feel like the emotional and academic journey I’ve taken at AHS is hard to quantify with words. It’s hard to dictate the transformation from an anxiety-ridden, timid freshman to a somewhat confident, introspective senior. But as graduation inches closer and closer, I’ve reflected on a couple of the valuable lessons I’ve learned in the past four years.
#1: Struggling Is Good
Like most of us at AHS, I entered my freshman year with an idealistic view of how my academic journey would carry out. I of course would get all A’s, join every club possible, become the president of whatever would take me, and fill every waking minute with another mindless college-driven extracurricular activity. While I did participate in a few extracurriculars and gained leadership positions in the ones I genuinely enjoyed, I also faced my fair share of failure at AHS.
As a woman pursuing a career in STEM, I feel like the most prevalent issue pervading through my time in high school was imposter syndrome. I always felt I wasn’t smart enough to take the classes I wanted to, to pursue the topics which interested me, and to find enjoyment in the difficulty of studying the physical sciences. I’d find myself feeling ashamed for deriving satisfaction in lower grades than I was used to and for feeling proud when answering homework questions that should’ve been second nature to me by now. But it took me four years to discover a deceivingly simple and stupid truth: you don’t have to be good at something to enjoy it.
Looking back on my time at AHS, I feel proud that I allowed myself the opportunity to struggle. That B in AP Chemistry which I thought ruined my forever gave me the resilience to understand some subjects just weren’t for me. Those hours I spent laboring over AP Physics showed me that while I may have enjoyed Oppenheimer, a career in engineering wasn’t in my near future. All the time I’ve spent struggling has undeniably benefitted me in one way or another, and I’ve finally learned to indulge in that which is difficult.
#2: School Is Not Everything
In the competitive atmosphere at AHS, it’s hard to not be drawn in by the culture of donating your life in the pursuit of college acceptance. But when I reflect on graduation and what I miss the most, academic and extracurricular accolades aren’t what come to mind.
I think of morning coffee runs and the years of gossiping about every topic under the sun I’ve accumulated with my best friend Meg Green. I think of the weird enjoyment I found sobbing my eyes out with Audrey Baltazar, because even if we were sad, we were never alone together. I think of the countless hours I’ve spent singing Luke Combs and Megan Moroney in the car with Alanie Terre. I think of the millions of terrible dad jokes I’ve made with Tiara Schmid that got me through some of my toughest volleyball seasons. I think of the relationships I’ve formed in The Arcadia Quill, which has allowed me to meet some of the closest friends I’ve ever had.
In the end, while I may be driven by my academic aspirations, I have accepted that I am fundamentally a person who is consumed by relationships. I am who I am because of the people who surround me, and I’ll forever be grateful for the friends I was lucky enough to make at AHS.
#3: All Things End
As graduation inches closer and closer, despite the emotional turmoil I’ve experienced at AHS, I can’t help but feel despair. While I’m excited for the new chapter that awaits me, the thought of leaving the place I’ve grown in for the past 18 years is terrifying. Will I flourish without the same friends, family, and environment surrounding me? My best friend, never more than 5 minutes away, is about to be 8.5 hours away for the next four years. My family, my constant anchor and best friends, will no longer be a room away whenever I need them.
But like most things, I have absolutely zero idea what will happen. All I know is that the lessons I’ve learned at AHS and the foundation I’ve built over the past four years here can and will carry me through anything, and I will never forget my time as an Apache.
