According to the Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries, the fear of missing out, or FOMO, is a “feeling of worry that an interesting or exciting event is happening somewhere else.” For Arcadia High School (AHS) students during this hectic college application season, the effects of this phenomenon became significantly magnified.

While discussing the fear of missing out and its impact on students during this time, Dr. Deja Anderson, our Wellness Counselor, concluded that the fear of missing out is due to human nature.

“We’re just social creatures, and being a part of communities is very important to us,” said Dr. Anderson “I think what makes [FOMO] difficult here, especially at Arcadia High, is the fact there’s just so many wonderful activities to do. We have The Quill, we have [Apache News], we have music, we have sports, we have all the clubs.”

Because of the vast opportunities offered here at AHS, students may be unconsciously comparing themselves to their friends. While this competitiveness can motivate us to work harder and “catch up” to our peers, it also makes us forget our own strengths and abilities.

“We as people, we spend a lot of time focusing on what is missing, what is lacking. We have friends who may be doing different groups or organizations or clubs or having a different way of spending their time. A lot of times people are scared if they start to focus on what they do well. We are worried about looking narcissistic or full of ourselves, and so we try to humble ourselves, at times too much so,” said Dr.Anderson

For students trying to learn how to construct their perfect college essays, looking at the example essays online that include dramatic acts of heroism or growth may actually be stifling.

“So many of us see only the really big stories, people doing very heroic acts. We naturally wonder questions like ‘how can my ordinary life compare?’ But we have to remember what colleges are looking for: students. They’re not looking for someone who has invented the cure for a disease or has solved world hunger. They’re looking for what you have done in your day for your community,” said Dr.Anderson.

To help students recognize their own abilities better, Dr. Anderson recommended that we take some time to tell ourselves a few things we are good at.

“It can be helpful to practice saying two things every day about what you like about yourself. You start to build that in as your practice. You may feel weird the first few days, but after a while, it’ll become second nature. You gain confidence, because you know the skills that you have,” said Dr.Anderson.

It’s natural for AHS students to discuss their future plans such as what they will major in or how to make it into their dream colleges. But for Dr. Anderson, it may be more helpful for students if those conversations are minimized.

“If you’re a senior, chances are you and your friends are talking a lot about college applications and what you’re putting on there. It’s okay to have those conversations, but maybe try to minimize them so they are not having a big impact on your mental health. Because the more we talk about future plans, the more it magnifies what we believe we are missing at this moment,” said Dr.Anderson.

Having helped many students who are struggling with anxiety surrounding college applications, Dr. Anderson commented that students often perform much better than they first anticipate.

“I don’t have every student who comes in here talking to me about where they get in, but some of them will come, and then they always get shocked that they do get in somewhere because they originally felt like they’re not going to get in anywhere,” said Dr.Anderson.

As we plan out our future, we shouldn’t lose sight of our present moment. And for the entire AHS student community, Dr. Anderson has some helpful words to keep in mind during stressful times.

“It’s good to think about the future, but you don’t want to make that your sole focal point. Because when you do, it’s hard to be present in the moment. Sometimes our students are so focused on just college, they don’t think about taking time for themselves. I would say minimize conversations about the uncertain future, focus on what you do well, and try to enjoy your present–your here and now.”

Good luck out there for all AHS students who are currently struggling with what the future may hold! You can do it!

Photo Courtesy of UNSPLASH.COM