“Don’t get a boyfriend in high school, Kaitlynn. Instead, you must focus on your studies and get into a good college. Later, when you’re older, you can think about getting a boyfriend–but only after college,” my mom often told younger me. Initially, I thought my mom was silly for constantly reminding me to focus on my studies and consider a boyfriend later, as I believed a boyfriend wouldn’t ever concern high school me–or so I thought.

Stepping into my big girl shoes, I left behind the lingering thoughts and feelings of middle school and entered an unknown, daunting place: high school. Beginning freshman year, I never thought I would get a boyfriend throughout high school. Actually, I had previously made a vow to myself to focus on my studies, just as my mom desired; however, this vow didn’t mean I would refrain  from developing crushes. Entering my first-period class, I noticed a boy, tucked away in the corner of the room, sitting silently at his desk. Although he seemed like an ordinary student to everyone else, something about him stuck out to me. I’m still unsure what it was to this day; maybe it was his appearance, mysterious aura, or both. Strolling into period 1 every day, I anticipated his appearance and felt thrilled whenever I saw him. Often, I would steal a few quick glances at him, hoping he might notice me too. 

As the year progressed, I felt increasingly intrigued by his existence. He constantly plagued my mind, producing contradictory thoughts about my vow. I found myself telling everyone around me about my feelings toward him. Consequently–or rather, fortunately–he ended up finding out about my little crush. Slowly, our relationship began to bloom. As we both noticed each other, the tension between us only increased, which led to our eventual mutual confession on Valentine’s Day. 

As of now, I’m so grateful for his appearance in my life. Maybe back then, it was an inconvenience for him to find out as I didn’t want to be perceived as “weird”. I’m happy everything turned out the way it did–I wouldn’t change it for the world. 

Some moments I often reminisce about are just the small things: him holding my hand on the drive back home from hangouts, holding the door open for me, telling me occasional meaningful compliments, or just allowing me to squish his cheeks or mess with his hair. Although, I’m just as thankful for the big moments. 

The most memorable moment was our trip to Disneyland together. Throughout the trip, I learned so much about him–like his personality, his favorite soda, his favorite rides, and so much more. Even though we possibly (100%) annoyed other people in the Space Mountain line with our loud never-ending conversations, the 45 minutes in line felt like 10 minutes, and it felt so enjoyable! 

Although, relationships aren’t always all smiles and good vibes. Surprisingly, it’s usually filled with dull days and sometimes frustrating ones. Regardless, I’m just as thankful for the hard days as I am for the good days. During the hard times, I learned so much about our relationship and how we both deal with frustration; I’m just grateful he was always there for me during my hardships and vice versa. Sometimes, the thought of giving up tormented my mind, but I’m glad I pushed through and didn’t allow my emotions to entice my actions. 

With too many memories to name, I’m grateful for all of them. I would like to say a special sorry to my mom for defying her “no dating in high school” rule and the younger me for breaking our vow, but do I regret anything? Nope! 

Thank you to my boyfriend for everything you’ve done for me. I love and appreciate all our moments together. Life is so tough at times, but your presence makes it worth the struggle.