The word “love,” like many other words, has been the victim of language inflation. We use love to describe so many different things and people that it’s often difficult to differentiate how much we truly “love” something or someone, thus devaluing what “love” really means. In reality, the term “love” should have the most prevalence when being used to describe one’s feelings towards another person, whether it be a coworker, family member, or romantic interest. Although it varies from person to person, the meaning of “loving” someone means holding strong feelings of affection and appreciation towards someone who is significant in your life. 

The Greeks came up with multiple words to describe different types of love. Phileo, one of the most common types of love shared between people of all ages, is the love for a friend. It’s not unusual for friends to have a sense of appreciation for each other. However, Phileo goes beyond the everyday banter and expressions that say “I’m glad you’re my friend.” Phileo is the sense of deep connection between two friends, connections that spur strong feelings of love. 

This love isn’t the same as compared to familial or romantic love, but it nevertheless intensifies the desire to want to be with that person with whom you share Phileo. It’s a brotherly love, as seen in the name Philadelphia, which is known as the “city of brotherly love.” To love a friend in the sense of Phileo is to want to spend as much time with that person and build upon the rapport created in order to deepen emotional connections.

On the other hand, Storge is used to describe love between family members, such as a mother’s love for her children or siblings’ love for one another. Storge, similar to Phileo, is a love that stresses strong emotional connection and appreciation for one another’s presence. Unlike Phileo, Storge is a natural feeling of love, in that it doesn’t need to be fostered over time because it is an inherent feeling the moment we are born.

Young children don’t need to learn how to love their parents because it’s already natural for them to do so. Siblings who are close in age to each other don’t need to force themselves to be comfortable sharing personal information or spend time doing activities and going through life together, because it’s in their nature to have that sense of appreciation for their brothers or sisters. Sadly, despite the fact that Storge is naturally felt between family members, it’s also very easy to deteriorate over time. Lack of communication and social interaction can break down family relationships over time, leading to arguments and fights.

Arguably the most difficult love to share and maintain is Eros, the sense of romantic love one holds, or in other words “being in love.” This is one of the other most common types of love shared between people. It’s also very prevalent in music and entertainment, as seen through the countless “love songs” and romantic movies shown in theaters or on streaming sites. Though Eros is unique in its own right, it shares similar characteristics to Phileo and Storge. This includes wanting to spend as much time as you can with the person you feel Eros love for and holding a sense of vulnerability when you interact with them.

The main difference is that these feelings are much more intense in Eros. After all, a person you are in love with is someone who you might end up spending the rest of your life alongside. Eros can mean having to trust how you feel about a person as opposed to what you think about them, or trusting your heart over your mind. In addition, it extends past what you personally feel or think, as you also want to have the other person feel the same way about you. 

Ultimately, the term “loving someone” has a fair bit of nuance attached to it. Eros, Storge, and Phileo all have differences from each other and are applied to different people, yet at the same time, all three are love held for a person. These types of love can also overlap with one another. Yet in the end, what it means to love someone comes down to how you hold that person in your mind, and more importantly how you hold them in your heart.

Photo courtesy of UNSPLASH.COM