For most art schools the regular application date lands somewhere in the end of January and the start of February, with many schools having rolling admissions that close when the fall semester starts. These late deadlines seem to encourage applicants to procrastinate — and no doubt we do — but they are also to grant more time for applicants to build the best portfolio (a collection of one’s best works) possible. 

I’ve been working on my apps for about a year. I’d make pieces, show them to teachers to get feedback, and then apply all the advice to a completely new artwork. I’d attend classes and complete tons of assignments only to leave the class satisfied with none of them. Almost all the pieces in my portfolio were made 3 weeks before the deadline — so does that mean I really deserve to get into a school? 

See, if I was a good enough artist, then it shouldn’t have taken me so long to create portfolio-worthy pieces. If I spent more time drawing, then I could’ve gotten even better, right? But I am a good artist; I’m proud of my portfolio, and it’s the kind of work I want to keep making. Imposter syndrome just doesn’t let me see it that way. 

Imposter syndrome is the experience of feeling like you’re a phony. It makes you feel like no matter how skilled you are at what you do, you are a fraud. Through the time I was working on my portfolio, I felt I was undeserving of getting into a school, like I was ridiculous to even be applying to art schools. Working on my portfolio was fun; I liked being able to test my skills and limits and working to overcome those limits. But there’s a difference between overcoming a physical barrier and breaking through a mental one.

I’ve been dreaming of applying to art schools since I was in middle school — yet I couldn’t help but feel like I hadn’t worked hard enough to earn it. The last few days I accomplished so little because I was already dreading having to hit the submit button. I was convinced that when I did, admissions would open my portfolio, take one look at my work and laugh that I even had the audacity to apply. 

Adding artworks to a college portfolio is so difficult because you feel like you have to get a formula just perfect. There needs to be a good balance of technical skill but also enough work that projects your personality and you as a person. At the end of the day, that’s all an application is – a projection of a person you think is capable and worthy of getting into a college. Like the saying goes: “Fake ‘til you make it” – especially when you feel like an imposter. 

After that, after the rush of applications is over and all the all-nighters are pulled, realize that you are the same person represented in your application, the one who’s capable of getting into a school. Sure, that may be a temporary version of yourself, but we all change and grow as time goes on. Imposter syndrome can make it feel like you didn’t try hard enough or you’re unworthy of something—but finishing an application is a feat within itself! So allow yourself to celebrate and rest from your hard work…I know I will.

Photo courtesy of COMMONS.WIKIMEDIA.ORG