Wide-eyed freshman me started the year with no real expectations or goals. But I was quickly exposed to a whole new world of intense academics and accomplishments. From taking a million APs to being involved in a bunch of extracurricular activities, my peers’ goal-oriented work ethic shocked me, and I soon felt like I was falling behind. Even though I disliked the competitive atmosphere I often found myself in, I’m thankful for the motivation because it pushed me to be a better student and person.

Still, I spent most of my time in high school trying to prove to everyone, including myself, that I’m enough. That I deserved my grade. That I deserved to be on the team. I told myself that when I clutched an A or scored a high SAT score or got into my dream college that I would finally feel like I’m worth something. But I couldn’t have been more wrong. The only person that could have given me the validation and approval I sought was me. 

When I look back at the last four years, I cringe at some moments – wish I had made different decisions or said something else. But mostly, I smile at all the memories I’ve made with the people I love. All the picnics and late-night drives and ice cream and boba runs I’ve gone on. All the laughing and crying and screaming and studying and ranting I’ve done with friends. Taking selfies that were supposed to be evidence of an AP Bio lab with Conner and Renee. Punching Perry’s trackpad while playing Kahoot in Mr. Wang’s class. Begging Punchi, Kaley, and Kiara to come with me to Boiling Point for dinner when they all wanted to eat somewhere else. Playing Crazy Eights with Ashley and Andrew for hours. Laughing until my stomach hurt with Stacy over stupid pictures we took. Solving an escape room for the first time with Anthony, Jocelyn, Margaret, and Jonathan (go Unit 5!). Getting scolded in dance because I could never remember the choreography. Just to name a few. 

But off we go! I wish I could end this by saying that I’ve solved all my problems, and I’m super confident and proud and prepared for the future. But my family knows I often blurt out, “I’m just a kid!” and that’s exactly how I feel when I think about leaving high school and going to college. I’m still learning to be true and honest with myself about who I am and what I want for myself. Nonetheless, I’m so grateful for all the experiences I’ve gained, the lessons I’ve learned, and the people I’ve grown close to. I joke a lot about being ready to be “outta here”, but it’s these memories that make it bittersweet for me to turn this page and start the next chapter.