I recall the anxiety I felt in the months leading up to my freshman year. I was nervous I would get lost (AHS seemed like a looming maze of campus buildings) and get bullied (that’s what all the books portrayed). But when I finally got to AHS, I found a culture within the walls that was anything but suffocating. To my surprise, I found an enriching place that offered me the setting to achieve my dreams—I found exactly what I needed.

In my opinion, high school was so intimidating when it didn’t need to be. Sure, AHS classes were challenging, but I was able to manage them. I think perhaps because of my fear of the rumored hardcore nature of high school, I prepared more than I needed to. As cheesy as it sounds, I really reflect on myself as some sort of wind-up car. The knob was wound so tightly that when I was placed on the track of high school, I just took off with incredible momentum. I put myself in a place that was completely focused; I set my goal and worked for it. Now, four years later, I did exactly what I wanted to. I did exactly what I planned, followed through exactly as expected, and achieved the very same dream I had as an incoming freshman. I’m an anomaly, I know. And as happy as I am that I get to say my high school experience was successful, I still feel like I should’ve done so much more.

I was so consumed by academics that I didn’t get the same fun experiences as my peers, I didn’t let myself have them. I only went out with friends once in freshman year, once in sophomore year, and three times in junior year. I was ready to let myself have more fun in senior year, but I think we all know that most plans kind of fell apart. The only thing I did over my high school summers was take a summer school class to get ahead; I just had niche priorities. I was so wrapped up in working toward my goal that I didn’t see how the blinders I wore to keep me concentrated were actually unnecessary. Looking back, AHS and its students were all already geared to be successful together, but I prevented myself from flourishing in that environment. I made great friends, but I declined to enrich those relationships outside of a scholarly setting. I failed at giving myself the life I truly wanted even though I got where I wanted to go. I reached my goal, but I could have made better, more enjoyable choices for myself. I feel like I kept myself from some of the very best experiences of my life, and its a hard pill to swallow now.

Don’t get me wrong, I am satisfied with the work I was able to do and the resources I was able to access at AHS; I am incredibly thankful for my time here. But I am not completely happy with everything. It’s a natural reaction that I am sure many of us share. I didn’t know freshman GPA isn’t counted toward college admissions, I didn’t know I could let myself have fun and still be successful. To all the underclassmen reading this, please do not be so hard on yourself. There is a best of both worlds, I promise. So many of my peers were able to find that balance while I was not. My biggest regret is not taking time for myself. It might seem like a sour reflection, but this is my entire truth. Take the time to have fun! There’s nothing wrong with embracing the young years of time. Time only goes forward, and there is no “right way” to be successful. You can achieve your dreams and have the time of your life doing it.